Image from Elisabeth Moore

Dating in the Workplace

Often frowned upon and strongly advised against, dating in the workplace is a common theme today. Have you been tempted to start dating a fellow employee? This writer thinks it is important to evaluate both sides of the argument before you make that critical decision.

Why shouldn’t we?

As cliché’s go, this one is an oldie: Don’t shit where you eat.

Dating in the workplace is putting your personal life into the workplace. Many good businesspeople will tell you, these two lives don’t mix. Keep them separate if you want a successful career. Your personal life is much more likely to affect your work when your girlfriend could walk to your cubicle at any time to continue that argument you had last night.

Competition is another factor. A competitive work environment is more prevalent today than ever before. Working closely with your significant other may hinder your chances for that promotion or new project you want. If your relationship negatively affects your professional goals, you may want to think about which is more important. Tension in the workplace will absolutely turn into tension in the home.

Work can be a nice break from your personal life as well. We all enjoy the company of our loved ones, but let’s be honest, sometimes it’s nice to have a little time away. Working together turns into lunching together and then driving to and from work together and then…. You are much more likely to become annoyed and irritated with your significant other when you see them all day, every day.

And if all other reasons fail you, think about what dating in the workplace can do to both people after the relationship is over. Yes I know we don’t want to admit defeat before we even begin, but the pain of seeing an ex daily is worth considerable thought. Especially if the breakup was a bad one, you’ll be ducking in hallways and eating lunch in the bathroom for months afterward. The decision to date in the workplace might depend on how relationships normally end for you.

Why should we?

A study of love in Psychology Today said the strongest factor in developing love is proximity. It’s not compatibility or shared values, it’s how close you are to the person physically. It’s to be expected that you fall for a coworker.

As with many friends my age, the older I get, the less I want to meet my new boyfriend at a bar or club. The dating pool for singles in their 20s may not be limited, but it is difficult to navigate. The workplace is an area of well-dressed, not drunk, somewhat mature peers. This pool is very desirable. Plus these peers share a similar lifestyle to your own. They make their own living and are likely to be as ambitious as you are.

Perhaps most important, dating in the workplace makes getting up and going to work a little more fun. From flirtatious emails, to smiles from across the cafeteria, to makeout sessions in the parking lot, dating in the workplace can add excitement to a relationship and to your life in general. As a 20-something that is still new to the eight-hour a day, eight by ten cubicle cell that is my life, I would do anything to spice up the workday.

And lastly for the romantics out there: Because you’re in Love! Throw caution to the wind! You only live once! At this age does professionalism really matter if it’s getting in the way of you getting laid?

So what is to be concluded from this evaluation? I think that we can say that the consequences are serious, but the perks are awesome. This writer thinks it depends on how mature and professional you are. It also depends on how strong your feelings are for that person and whether it’s love, or just a fling. Be honest with yourself and recognize what type of dater and breaker upper you typically are. Both sides of the argument should be weighed, and the decision should be taken seriously. No one wants to be a cautionary tale.