This is the first article in a three part series of articles by guest writer Anita Hashmani on how any guy can get any girl.  Read as Anita walks us through the entire process, starting from the approach all the way into a long-lasting relationship.  Part 1 talks about what to do when you first meet her.

No, it’s not because he’s rich. I promise. But what other explanation is there when your average Joe Shmoe is dating the hottest girl in town?  I’ve said it to my male friends a million and one times: most girls do not care about looks or money. We go for personality and (unbeknownst to us) certain tactical behavior. You too can woo any woman (yes, ANY woman) as long as you follow these guidelines.

Meeting girls, dating, and long term relationships are hard work.  In a perfect world, you should always be yourself and that special person would always love you for that. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. In the complicated mind of females, certain actions are necessary to get our attention and keep us on our toes. I will tell you what we find annoying and unattractive, plus what will get us to open up and give you a chance.  In this 3-part love piece, you’ll learn how to get a girl to talk to you in a social setting, how to get her hooked when you start dating, and how to maintain that love when things get serious.

Part 1: She doesn’t know you yet. Get her to give you a chance:

Typical Friday night: you’re out with your friends, having a great time, but the one thing that’ll make your night even better is to get an attractive girl to give you her phone number. First try, she completely ignores you. Second try, she talks to you for a bit but then makes up some obviously fake excuse to end the conversation. Third try, you’re having an awesome hour-long conversation only to have some jerk (possibly one of your friends) steal her way. What are you doing wrong? I have no idea.  But you definitely weren’t following my advice:

• First things first, stand next to her but don’t immediately talk to her. Also, you don’t want to make it look like you’re there just for her. The best situation would be to stand next to her at the bar while you’re both ordering drinks. If you’re not at a bar or you’re not drinking, then have your friends stand with you near her so it’s not obvious that you’re zeroing in.
• Try to catch her when she’s not around her friends.  I have to confess, we try to act cool when we have an audience. If you approach a girl and she’s chatting with her friends, she will most likely ignore you, even if she is interested.
• When you finally do talk to her, make a casual funny comment as the opening.  Make fun of the bartender or the slow service. Don’t ask immediately what her name is, where she lives, where she works, or any other personal question. That will probably scare her. Again, you want it to look like you’re only making conversation because you just happen to be standing next to her.
• Continue with the casual chat and keep it light. Talk about the crowd, the weather, the annoying drunk guy next to you. Be yourself and relax! Acting nervous is usually a turnoff. Eventually, ask her if she lives in the area. Then you can get into the more personal stuff like name, occupation, etc.
• Be sweet, charming, and (gasp!) nice. Contrary to popular belief, we don’t like cocky jerks.
• Do not only focus on her. Remember you were standing next to her for another purpose (ordering a drink, hanging out with your friends), don’t lose track of that.
• If you’re talking and getting along, excuse yourself for a bit. Say you have to go to the bathroom. When you get back, don’t immediately go back to her. Talk to your friends first so she realizes she’s not the only thing on your mind. Remember to eventually go back to her though so it doesn’t look like you’re blowing her off.
• If you think she’s into you and the conversation is coming to a close, ask for her number. ONLY her number. Do not ask her out for a specific time and day. CASUAL is the key word here. Something like, “Do you want to exchange numbers? Maybe we can hang out again next time we’re both in the area”.
• All of this is so that you don’t look desperate. If you act cool and nonchalant, she’ll be more willing to give you her number and go out with you. No girl wants to go on a date with a guy who is a potential leech. We aren’t into stage five clingers either.

I know, I know…some of these suggestions make it sound like girls want a chase or that we only like players. But the truth is, we are attracted to confidence. And a confident guy is not going to chase a girl he doesn’t even know like a lovesick puppy.  Click here to see the next part of this series, where Anita teaches you how to get her to fall for you even more.

Image from badjonni.