10 Things A Single Guy Should Never Do
By Scott Randa
17 April 2010
1,951 views
11 Comments
Image from CharlesFred
There are just some things guys, especially single guys, should never do. If a dude has a girlfriend, he’s still walking on thin ice by doing some of the things I mention below, so be very careful if you do choose to partake, very careful. Only a married guy can get away with some of these things, but I still wouldn’t test it too much.
- Drink through a straw - Girls do not want to see your lips pursed and cheeks in while you suck your drink through a straw. If you receive a straw, use it to stir your drink, and set it on the table. I’ve even heard it being called a “sissy stick”.
- Order a salad - I’m sorry, but single guys should never order a salad. Ever. Get yourself a real meal like a burger, sandwich, or entree. There is one exception for single guys, and that is if you are a vegetarian. If you are married, you have every right to order a salad. Marriage allows you to enjoy a guilt-free salad.
- Order wine at a bar – I’m all about tasting wine, but don’t do it at a bar. All the guys around you are drinking beer, and so should you.
- Admit that you don’t like the taste of beer – Single guys should like beer, it’s as simple as that.
- Be a “cat guy” – Enough said.
- Rock out to “chick music” – What is “chick music”? The definition of this is shady, but I keep my definition broad, just in case. You may be a closet fan of a female artist or particular group. But, as a single guy, never admit it. If the song comes on the radio, sing as loud as you want in your head, but don’t let on that you actually love that song. “Since you’ve been gonnnne!!”
- Get a manicure or pedicure – No single guy should get a mani or pedi. Period. If a guy has a girlfriend, and she’s insisting on you going, you have to put up the best fight. Only if she’s really persistent should you then give in. Afterwards, say that you did not enjoy it. If you are married, you should resist any mani and pedi requests. Even if she begs you to go. There’s nothing to gain in you going, and you aren’t going to lose because you are married.
- Tanning at a tanning bed – No guy single, married, or in a relationship should do this. There is one exception, and that is if you are engaged and you are preparing for your honeymoon.
- Read any of the Twilight books or watch the movies
- Have a weak handshake – This shows a lack of confidence
All the single guys need to follow these rules and keep their man card. If you are in a relationship, be careful about doing one of those things and losing your man card. If you are married, you have successfully navigated the single life, and I commend you.
Excellent tips – but I have to disagree with one: Single men SHOULD get manicures and pedicures. Nothing is more offsetting to a woman than ugly feet, and no lady wants to be scratched by a hangnail while being caressed. However, I agree with Scott – it’s not the manliest thing to be seen doing. Solution? Go to a salon at least 25 minutes away from where you live/work/play. Get your feet fixed, but don’t let anyone see you doing it. It’s like body hair removal for women. No guy wants to see your armpit hair, but they don’t wanna see you shaving it, either.
Reading these made me laugh out loud –I never really thought about it but they are all so true!! Good job Randa!
Niki, I still stand firm in my no mani/pedi… Even if you do it at least 25 minutes away. It’s just something that single guys should never do. Melanie, thanks for your comment. Give me a call sometime.
Scott,
I completely agree with Melanie! Guys with gross feet are, well…gross! I dated a guy who actually asked me to clip his toenails. My response? “That’s called PERSONAL hygiene for a reason!” – no way in hell would I have gotten near his tarantula toes! Having swamp-feet or grossly dirty fingers is such a turn-off! Though I must admit, I couldn’t bring myself to even look at his feet but I dated a guy who had well manicured hands and feet and I didn’t think twice about grabbing his feet when we were snuggled up on the couch and giving him a footrub. Bottom line, suck it up and get the mani/pedi! Swallow the testosterone-doused pride and get with it; we love a guy with clean sexy hands/feet.
PS – Oh, and yeah – the Freddy Kruger toes scratching you when you’re getting frisky IS gross! **shudders**
No wonder there are many singles out there; these rules are ridiculous. You can’t drink through straws or eat salads? Once again like I said in a previous comment – if a girl or guy cannot accept the little things that you do then you shouldn’t try and be something your not.
I think this article is bias and your information is all opinionated.
Entertaining article, Scott. I propose the following clarifications:
Straws are fine for:
-Soda.
-Margaritas, if you don’t like the salt on the edge of the glass.
You lose your man card for drinking the following with a straw:
-any alcoholic beverage except a Margarita.
You must publicly burn your man card if you ever drink a beer through a straw.
Nathan,
As a single guy, I try to avoid straws at all costs. If I have a soda, and they give me a straw, I simply take the straw out. I actually ask for no salt on my margarita glass (or ask for sugar) just so I don’t have to drink out of a straw. Maybe I have a straw phobia?
But you, good sir, don’t have to worry about these rules! You are married!!
I love this article. I have to say that I, whether single or not, also try to avoid straws whenever possible.
Guys – continue to follow these rules so that I can have all the women who will find you homophobic and repuslive.
Only legit rules are: 5, 8, 9 (the books will get you punched, the movies might get you laid), and 10.
So 60% ain’t bad, Scott.
Cute, but totally ridiculous.
Your “man card” comes from your confidence, your muscular build, your chivalry, your cleanliness, and your financial health.
It has nothing to do with what beverage you drink or how you drink it, contrary to what marketing people would like you to believe.
In fact, its a complete turnoff when guys are afraid to do “un-manly” things: it shows a lack of confidence and flexibility, which is unappealing to women.
The point being: OWN whatever you do. If you like wine, please, drink it at the bar. Tease anyone who gives you crap about it.
Do exactly what you want, but keep the basics intact: stay strong and in shape, keep your body and space clean, prioritize your financial well-being, be nice to your family, female friends, and small children, be chivalrous to women, and above all, keep your cool.
That’s your man card. Now go eat a salad!
There are several things in here that I don’t agree with.
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