Image from kodomut

We’ve all had to cancel plans with someone.  Things come up, priorities change, emergencies happen.  It’s understandable.  We’re all busy people, I get it.  Heck, even I’m busy, and I don’t even work full-time anymore.

It’s very easy to tell someone you’re going to have to bail out on your plans with them because of other stuff.  But you need to be careful.  If you flake out on the same person too many times, you’re going to earn yourself a certain reputation.  You’ll be the flaker.  Do you want to be that person?  Probably not.

The flaker makes it seem like something else is always taking priority over his or her friends.  The flaker always seems to have something come up at the last minute.  The flaker just can’t seem to get their work done in time to make his or her plans.  And because of all that, the flaker eventually stops getting invited out.

By continually canceling your plans with the same person, or same group of people, you’re essentially telling them they’re not important enough for you to make time for.  It goes beyond the immediate event that you’re cancelling on and speaks to your relationship with that person or group of people.  You aren’t giving them that warm, fuzzy feeling that people like to have.  In fact, you’re sending the exact opposite message.  You’re also telling them that they can’t trust your word.  When that happens, people start to lose faith in you.

So, if you must cancel plans, spread the love.  Don’t cancel on the same people more than once a month.  If you absolutely have to cancel on someone multiple times, make the effort to set up your next meeting, and make sure to be there.  Show people that a couple of proposals, papers, interviews, or other extraneous things aren’t more important than they are.  It’ll come back to you – karma can be a bitch, but it can also be extremely generous when it has a reason to be.